Papa, why are you looking so sad?

Natalie by Laura Gingrich

Natalie nestled down next to me on the crumbling wall in the courtyard. She laid her head against my shoulder and  softly said: "Papa, why are you looking so sad today?". A lump was rising up in my throat and my eyes started burning. In this moment I knew that all the work of the last 20 years had been worth it. The contrast was so stark. On one side, leaning against my shoulder, a sweet orphan girl who I witnessed growing up for longer than she can remember and who calls me "papa". On the other, echoing through my head, everything I'd heard from the Haitians who, since the day I came back, had shared their stories and fears about cholera. Cholera, indiscriminately killing thousands of people. In this house six, in that one eight. Cholera, something that two months ago was unknown to most but that in a matter of weeks became one of the most frightening words. A disease that seemed to control every thought and action in Haiti and with reason.

And now Natalie was reading the worries on my face. Unable to share my real thoughts I told her I was OK, but I was not. A knot had grown in my stomach from the moment our team had arrived. It did not take long to figure out that the precautions that had been taken were not enough. If someone with cholera would come in contact with a person in the orphanage, the results could be disastrous. All the children were in grave danger. So we talked and instructed local leaders and disinfected and gave out medications for those who encountered cholera in their houses. But the accounts about those who lost their lives kept coming. A group of masons working on the new house for the orphans came and asked for help. They live in an area called Kayman, not far away. They were worried about the water their community was drinking and wanted advice on capping a spring. We went with them to see what could be done. One look at their water source made me sick to my stomach.

A woman stepped in front of us and filled her plastic jug with the cloudy water. Donkeys and goats were all around having free access to the hole. A mix of mud and animal dung was surrounding the place. How many thousands got their water in similar places?
We promised financial support. The work to start capping the spring would start the next day. Hundreds of people would come to carry in the rocks, sand and cement along the narrow path. It would show how people can come together in times of distress. But would it be in time?

I looked to my side and saw the caring smile on Natalie's face. A renewed sense of responsibility rose up in me. Children should not have to deal with these things. Nobody should! Lord, please protect them and give us the strength to care for them.


Please pray for all who are dedicating their lives to helping the cholera victims in Haiti.

Do not worry!

Today we are heading to Haiti where the people are facing very uncertain times. Last night I woke up, mulling over the details of the trip. It's so easy to get worked up when you lay thinking in the dark. That's why it is important to remember that we are going to be OK. Jesus said: "and I will be with you always even to the end of the age". What a peaceful thought that is. And then sometimes, out of the blue, there are these comforting things thrown in your lap. Without asking for it. Small things that mean the world to me. Things that make the purpose of our mission trip so relevant.  Things that make your own worries seem so futile. Without any more words I leave you with this video clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOft0A48ryg 

Yes! there is Hope!

Got a little upset this week reading the news that somewhere at an auction in England a, obviously very wealthy, person paid $83,000,000.00 for a vase! Yes you read it right. It was a nice vase. It probably stood in some Chinese Emperor's living room. Whatever! I hope the receivers of that insane amount of money have better sense than the buyer. They will need a lot of wisdom. They will be able to do a lot of good if they choose so. Let's hope they will. But reflecting on these kind of things does not really help so let's move on to some real hope!
This morning my phone rang and my friend Matt from the St. Thomas Church in Shelby made my day. Matt and his team spoke in church yesterday. They shared the experiences they had in Haiti last month. They talked about the need the Matthew 28 orphanage has for a  deep well with a water tower. They passed the plate for a special offering and they raised $8,000. Now that's my kind of auction. Everyone made an offer(ing) everyone did win! That's what makes a difference in this world. Kids and adults in Bohoc, Haiti will get better access to clean water. How do you think that will go over in a country where Cholera is rampant right now! Matt and his buddies are going back to Haiti. They want to build the water system. That's real hope! Thank God there is Living Water. Matt and his team have tasted that and want to be part of it. Let me know when you want to be involved too.

Origami part two

Some time ago I wrote about the world's biggest origami. Well.. there is a good end to that story. The team from Detroit traveled to Haiti lately to help us finish the job. They were great. Wish you could have been there too. Nine guys trying to fold a little house out of these big sheets. Nine different ways of doing it all at the same time! It was so much fun. Every time we did one we also forgot right away how we did it and had to invent it all over again. You'd think we know it after two right! No way! It was hilarious but we got it done. Here are a few of the pictures of the project. Three families will live here at a time while they are building their permanent house. At least no more sleeping outside. Praise God.

Ten guys ten different ideas!

Yes we're getting it

Tim and Mark were in control.

Team work!

Mom look what we made! The lady of the house with her daughter are happy.

New Urgency

There are times in life when you can clearly see the road before you. It's not always like that but today, looking out over the mountains, I can see forever. It is beautiful! I just finished reading a book about persecution of Christians in China. Could not put it down and I'm still mulling it over in my heart. It was shocking.
What we saw in Haiti two weeks ago was shocking as well. It is giving me a new sense of urgency that I'm trying to put under words here. We traveled to a remote area called Pereille and once we got closer we saw groups of people sitting in the fields along the road .Strange! Many of them were young adults. In all my years there I had never seen this before. It was almost like people were waiting for something to happen. When we came at the meeting place there were hundreds of them gathered around and it became clear that we could not do our traditional clinic. There were just too many people so we resorted to passing out medication for worms and vitamins. Doug, the chiropractor helped by some of the others, touched many people with back ache. We had brought in copies of a brand new Creole children's book that tells the gospel. I realized that there were a lot fewer kids than normal. They were almost all adults. It was strange. Maybe the kids were in school but that had never kept them away before. Anyway once we started giving out the little books the people almost fought to get one. I know they had no idea what it was about but they were so excited. In a very short time the three hundred copies we brought were gone. My mind keeps going back to that day. Hope came into the hands of many people who really had no reason for hope. What made them wait and for what? Could it be that they all have holes in their hearts? A vacuum that needs to be filled now that they realize that their government is not going to do anything for them. An emptiness Voodoo cannot fill? Now that they have seen their dreams shattered in the rubble of Port au Prince. Dreams about escaping the poverty and becoming someone. Port au Prince was the city where many of them thought they were going to make it. It is likely that a lot of the ones we saw along the road were refugees from there. Urgency! A few days earlier we held a clinic in another but just as remote area. It had taken all out of me to deal with the suffering there. I know it did the same to the doctors and the other members on the team. People who were hurting so bad that it defies any description. Like the woman on crutches who was brought in. They took a sock of her leg to show what once had been a foot. All there was left was a piece of bare bone sticking out of her leg with some remains of what must have been a bone in her foot. A few months earlier she stepped on a nail. If only we had seen her before. Like the boy whose foot had a gaping gash on top and Scott sewed it shut. Like the old man who was holding the side of his head in anguish. Melanoma was growing in the roof of his mouth most likely into his brain cavity as well. I talked with him about being with Jesus soon and he was at peace with that. The pain he was in! So many of them and so much pain. People with holes in their hearts hurting for something to set them free.
The fields are white for the harvest but the workers are few. Urgency! We have to act now and reach out to the ones God puts on our path before the opportunity is gone. Times have changed in Haiti. People are more desperate than ever. Do you feel my new urgency? You want to help?

Reality Check Please!

It has been so hard to get in the groove again, almost like it gets more difficult every time I go to Haiti. I'm still floating between two realities, they both exist. The contrast is too stark though, it shouldn't be that hard. I'm sitting on a padded chair now. Not so in Haiti, that's one of the things I miss most when I am there. My computer is plugged in and I don't have to worry about the voltage frying it nor for the lights to go out because there was not enough sun that day. By the way that is rare. But my bed, oh my goodness, it is so nice to lay in my own bed. Sunday night I had a big spider under my mosquito net. In my room that's OK, in my bed it's not. I took my shoe and of course I forgot about the mud I had walked in all day, and slammed the sucker dead. Yeah, but by doing that all the mud was now on my sheets. Oh well! I like to drink water, lots of it. I hang under the tap several times a day and fill up. Well in Haiti it takes a lot of work to filter the water to make it safe, every time again and you can never let your guard down or it will get you. So you just don't drink enough. I drove home through the night after I got back into Atlanta. Three hours, 167 miles, zero pot holes. It took us two hours the night before to travel 11 miles. Not because of traffic because there was nobody else in the 11 mile long, mud filled pothole. Maybe they can get a Guinness world record for that. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining and nobody makes me go there. It is my own choice. But living is just so darn difficult for the Haitians and that's measured by the experience of someone like me, who still has enough money to buy food and has a place to sleep, albeit with spiders and mud on the sheets. Go figure if you don't have that either.
Poverty is a relative term. Just this summer one of the older orphans said to someone, "I am not poor, but there are a lot of poor people around here". This came from a kid who has two sets of clothes, shares his bedroom, which holds only two beds, with several other kids and who gets two meals a day. If he can see it that way we should be able to see how rich we are. I'm not trying to beat a dead horse but I just want you to imagine what they deal with every day, no end in sight. Yet in all that they can still be happy. Last week we did a clinic in a remote area. It was so busy that we simply couldn't treat all people on a one by one basis. We were going around the crowd giving out worm pills.After I gave them their pill I would hold their hands and wait until they made eye contact and than whisper a two or three word prayer. Sometimes it took a while to connect but every time the result was stunning: A smile, love, emotion,  tears and yes, sometimes embarrassment but in a good way. It made me wanna do that all day long. It was energizing me and them likewise. They experienced they were somebody and I found out I was just one of them. A glimpse of heaven. That's what makes me come back to reality. There and here!

Heavenly Food !!

One morning recently when I was in Haiti, I sat down with the leaders of thirteen communities. They had come to share with me about the hunger in their villages. Thirteen faces with an expression of deep down grief. Some of them lost their own child, all of them lost children they knew. Nothing humbles me more than sitting down with parents who plead for their children. It could be me. I have held many of those kids in my arms while later I might find out they did not make it.
I did not want to give them empty promises. The only thing I could say was something that happened years ago. In an identical situation, when five centers had been closed because a Canadian government program was cut. All I had to say then ,was for all the villagers to pray and that I believed God would not return their prayers void. Three months later a man called me with a random question. We got to talk and a few weeks later we received the support to reopen the centers. God is so good!
That is what I told them now too. Pray and He will not leave you alone with your problems.
One of them answered "Let's not waste time then" and he started singing "Crown Him Lord of Lords".
One after another thirteen raw voices blended in. People on the bottom rung of civilization praising their Lord for the glimmer of hope they just received. People who carried their children to the grave.
What a faith!
And what an AWESOME GOD, because this afternoon I received a phone call that we will receive funding, allowing us to reopen the feeding centers soon. I am beside myself. Friday we are leaving to go back to Haiti and next week I may sit down with the same group. What a privilege. I know I am going to cry for joy together with them. Together we will be able to praise His Name! There is going to be food again.
Heavenly Food!

Helping someone while cleaning out the fridge.

It says in the bible not to worry about tomorrow. What you will eat or which clothes you will wear. Kids today must really think that 's a joke. Why would you worry, the fridge is so full and mom has to clean it out every week because there is not enough room for the new groceries. And the clothes thing, well my daughters would stand in front of a packed clothes closet and claim they had nothing to wear. So we must not quite understand that thing about worry.
I have my own problem with it. I know I have enough. More than enough. But is it wrong that I still worry what I am going to feed my kids in Haiti tomorrow. I have to leave it up to God who knows what's best for me and who cares for all the creatures in this world, so imagine how much more for the kids in Haiti and me?
It also says ask and you shall receive. Now if I don't have to worry about tomorrow, why should I have to ask?

But then again, maybe it is alright to ask on behalf of others, for our neighbors, for those who God has put on our path.
Yeah, that's what it must be.
So here I go...
People, we need lots more to keep helping the poor an hungry in Haiti. Lots and lots and lots more. I can't help it. I am going back in a few weeks and I know that there is sooo.. much to do and sooo.. little time.
Maybe something to think about while you clean out the fridge or when you are trying to find something to wear. Maybe you can help me worry a little less.

One of the families waiting anxiously to get a home. They now live outside under a tarp.

 

 

 

 

Despite my worries,we are gonna get these people homes to live and gardens to grow their crops. We have already started. Time enough to worry, later! Right?

Stella!!

I don't believe there is anything more peaceful than holding a sleeping baby. I'm sitting here with tears welling up in my eyes thinking about the moment that I for the first time saw my grand daughter. I thought for a moment my heart was gonna burst. And then to be able and sit down and babysit Stella for the first time while Mom and Dad were napping. Els and I were just eating it up, every second of it.
While sitting with her in my arms trying to eternally remember every second of this, my thoughts started to wander to all these beautiful kids I know in Haiti and who are largely missing out on that experience of being held. I think I will hold them even closer next time.
We always talk about "getting a baby" but Stella got a mommy and a daddy yesterday and four loving grand parents who all would like to hold her all day long. How many children can claim that.
In a year that started out with witnessing the most horrible things ever in my life I am also given the indescribable wonder of a new life added to our family. God heals wounds in His own perfect way.
I want to scream it from the mountain tops "I am an OPA"
Help us God to be gentle and sweet to all the little lives you put on our path because they are all worth it!

Stella just 4 hours in this world

 

The World's Biggest Origami

Don't they say "All I needed to know I learned in kindergarten"! Well, I for one believe that.

Mark and I traveled seven states this week to get the biggest sheets of plastic cardboard you have ever seen. Left over stuff from Hurricane Katrina relief. They measure 8'x24' or for the metrics among you 2.4m by 7.2m  and we are going to do some Origami with them in a few weeks in Haiti.

After the dust is settled we hope to have three temporary houses. They will be used by earthquake victims who are going to build their new houses on the land we bought for that purpose. I sure hope that the folding will go as easy as they tell us. I have my doubts though, you should have seen us slithering in the rain trying to fold the sheets in neat packages to put on my little truck. But we got it done and the tents are now waiting in Florida for the airlift to Haiti in a few weeks.
Just wanted to share some of the pictures with you so you know what I mean with Origami.

First you do this!

Than this!

poor little truck it's flipping backwards!

than you hope to get this!

Feel free to cast the first stone

I am frustrated! I just tried to read an article written to stand still by the six month anniversary of the earthquake in Haiti. I just had to give up reading because it overwhelms me with this feeling of despair. Another journalist who is going to prove some points we have known about Haiti for many years. The place is corrupt, uneducated, people fight for their own good only, they protest and they wait. But what do we expect! They don’t know any better. This is all they have learned and mostly from us! Has anybody noticed that most of the “teaching” that has taken place (and I am not talking about the efforts of private mission organizations now) has been wrought with dominance from foreign military forces and greedy businesses that have and still are benefitting of the few dollars these poor people have in their hands!

I saw a picture of a helicopter in Pakistan, trying to take off with a cluster of desperate people hanging under it. That’s what's happening with Haiti. The people, at their wits end, often hamper an effort that could help them, by trying to get something out of it for themselves.

But can you blame them? How can I blame people for being dishonest during a food distribution when all they know is hunger, hunger, hunger! How can I even have angry thoughts about men and women who have children sitting at home with eyes dulled by malnutrition and who cry through the night because they have nothing in their stomach.

Just a few months ago I was telling some sick people the importance of drinking enough clean water to keep their bodies from getting sick. I felt so ashamed when they answered that they do not drink much because it makes their empty stomach hurt more. I get fed when I am there but I am a privileged person. Even our orphans are above the crowd. We feed them every day at least two times that’s not the norm in Haiti. Yes, it should be but it's not.

So now to all of us who are standing on the outside please let’s not discuss Haiti over our lunches and cry wolf with the media of this world. I know they have an important role in reporting what goes on. But let’s use our heads before we have our judgment ready.


Let’s use our education to help educate the Haitian people in how they could do better. Let’s not do it for them, but give THEM responsibility and a chance to learn from their mistakes just as we have done over the centuries that it took us to get as smart as we are now. And are we really that smart?

Jesus said “let those who are without sin cast the first stone"

I want to get out positive news about Haiti. Uplifting stories about many people who work hard to get past the problems created by the earthquake or long before that. Heartwarming accounts of new beginnings like the feeding centers we are,one by one, getting back on line. Stories of little tiny hands digging in bowls of rice and stuffing little hungry faces. Stories that you can relate to because you have given for that kind of relief. Things that you would have wanted to do if you were there.

Let's challenge the media to come up with the positive things that have happened in Haiti when the time comes for the first anniversary of the earthquake. A first annual  celebration of what can be done instead of another litany about corruption and incompetence.

I am already a little less frustrated.

Why another Blog?

According to Google there are 100 million blogs so why even bother to make another one?

Here’s my reasoning. Just like with all the wealth in the world, the people that need money the most to survive do not have any. So also with the ability to communicate: the poor don’t have a way to do it.

A few weeks back I was in Haiti with a team from Fayetteville North Carolina. I know they must have wondered how it is possible that such suffering, so close to the US, goes largely unnoticed. When you ask me I think it is because there is not enough “news value” in it. Everyone knows that there are a lot of people in the world who are hungry every day. So what’s new? 

New is that I am going to try as much as I can to get in the face of the wealthy world using a blog. Maybe no one will read it, maybe it will get some attention, I hope and pray it will.

The little baby I am holding in this picture was almost 4 months old. She was barely back to her birth weight. Her mommy was sneakily eating food in the feeding center we operate in the village of Kalbasye.  A few minutes later she tried to nurse the baby but I’m sure that her milk was not much more than water. It is a shame that  mothers like her have to feel guilty when they eat some food that was intended for their small children. She did it for her baby. Chances are that in a few weeks when I am going back, hopefully with the good news that we can reopen the feeding centers in 12 more villages, this little baby will have died. I have seen it happen way too many times lately. It makes me mad! But I have to keep my cool. I want to be taken serious for the sake of the lives of all these children and their parents. Emotional people often are not.

We did a survey for a USAID grant. I am not sure if this will get us anywhere but it’s worth trying. We found that in the area where we have or want to reopen our feeding centers, there are almost 30,000 people living in places where we would hesitate to put our dog for the night. Right now,their eyes are focused on the sky waiting for the next hurricane system that might wipe out their shelters. It doesn’t take much, it happens all the time. The grant questions were largely redundant. Questions like: where do these people buy their food in local or regional markets. These people are so poor they will rarely if ever have some money in their lives, leave alone go to the market to buy food. They will have to live of what their little garden grows and that is very limited. Maybe handful of corn every two days.

If only Haiti had something to offer to this world in terms of minerals or oil, but all they have is rock.

Rock, disease, hunger, illiteracy and since the earthquake, large piles of rubble.

But maybe we need to start to see things different. Maybe THEY are what all of us need more than anything else.

In them, maybe God is giving us a last opportunity to really make a difference, to be His Love to them. Maybe THIS is why we have all that we have.

In a few weeks my wife and I hope to become grand parents for the first time. May our little grand daughter grow up in a world that knows its responsibility towards the ones that are in need.